In some ways, my life hasn’t changed much since the last blog post. In other ways, it has changed drastically. But for the most part, it’s quite similar. The world is still crazy and wild, maybe, even more so today than yesterday. For me, 24 was a year of learning contentment through the most difficult challenges I’ve faced in all my years thus far and I am still learning.

As the months and years pass, it seems life keeps getting increasingly complex and tricky. Maybe that’s just because I’m in those 20-something years that all the older more mature folks tell me are the toughest. So hopefully, there will come a time when the complexities finally abate. Although life is so complex, I’ve discovered that the things that hold the most importance and true value are those most simple things in life. There’s a quote by Laura Ingalls Wilder that paints this idea beautifully.

“As the years pass, I am coming more and more to understand that it is the common, everyday blessings of our common everyday lives for which we should be particularly grateful. They are the things that fill our lives with comfort and our hearts with gladness — just the pure air to breathe and the strength to breath it; just warmth and shelter and home folks; just plain food that gives us strength; the bright sunshine on a cold day; and a cool breeze when the day is warm.”

– Laura Ingalls Wilder

At my work, I get to talk with a lot of older women and men ages ranging from 60 to 90 years. They often spontaneously share with me stories about their lives and the memories most precious to them. I love to hear these stories and see how fondly they share them and the joy it brings them. The most significant trend that I’ve noted among these stories is that they’re never about the cars they’ve owned, or the big houses they had, or even their accomplishments, but they often revolved around the relationships in their lives. Stories about weddings, about how growing up with siblings and how their parents raised them. They share memories of the people they loved who have passed away and the memories that bring them joy. They tell me about those simple things that filled their hearts with gladness.

So, I’ve tried to take hold of finding this gladness in the little things. But I’ve seen that to make such resolve as to be contented with whatever’s been allotted and apportioned to me takes discipline. Well, that’s because life is crazy, and things can come at you left and right back to back no warning punches to the face! And compared to generations of old, I would argue that it’s much more difficult for us at present to be content because of the machines and devices of the age. That’s not to belittle the challenges of those of past generations, I only speculate.  So, how can I do it? How can I make such a stand that no matter what happens, in lack or plenty I shall be content?

“Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Phil. 4:11-13. Frequently, I still war with my own heart that often betrays me in this resolve to be content. But it will get better. Because “the Lord God WILL help me; therefore, I will not be disgraced; therefore, I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I will not be ashamed.” Isaiah 50:7. God will help me. My Father knows just what I need, and He also knows exactly when I will need it. And He is faithful to “supply all my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19. So, with whatever lot God has appointed to me in this life, I shall be content. I shall be content. I shall be content. And when I grow old like the wonderful seniors I talk to, I hope to look back and be glad that I aimed to live life grateful with a contented heart before God. Here are two main things I’ve learned about contentment.

• Contentment and self-pity cannot dwell together.

This may be a bold statement, but I would strongly argue that self-pity is an evil thing. When life is crashing down and falling apart, it’s easy to fall into some form of self-pity; whether it’s pitying ourselves or even in subtle ways, seeking pity from others. I think it’s wrong because feeling sorry for myself slowly leads me to take my eyes off of God’s faithfulness, kindness, and goodness. And then ultimately, even for just a moment, I can find myself doubting His love. Its service only leads me into a mire of discouragement, hopelessness, despair, and even self-condemnation, leaving me with tripled feelings of sadness, worry, and anxiety. Self-pity brings me to completely take my eyes off of Jesus and places them on myself. Then, albeit negatively, I’m suddenly exalting myself, my pains, and my troubles above my God. What a wicked thing! When I realized this, I vowed that from that day onward, I will fight against the temptations of self-pity. Christ shall be exalted in my life no matter the circumstances because the Lord is most worthy. I had to make this resolve. Please now, I hope I’m not failing in communicating this sentiment. I do not mean to say that we should not cry from time to time, or that we shouldn’t share our sorrows and burdens with others for fear of seeking pity. In my experience, I’ve found that sometimes crying somehow helps to relieve a load I’m carrying! And we absolutely should share our burdens with those we trust. Because in this life, we need each other, to pray for one another and support each other. But to go down to the point of exalting my pains, sadness, and trials over the One who ought to have first place in my heart is wrong. Self-pity is truly only good for the garbage bin. If I am to be content, I must diligently keep a posture of gratefulness for even the simplest blessing. I must choose to dwell more on the goodness, faithfulness, and kindness of God.

• Contentment and regrets don’t mesh well.

We’ve all done things in our lives that we wish we could somehow erase. Maybe it’s regret about how we spent our younger years, maybe we regret how we once treated a person, or maybe it’s the regret of the words we’ve said or didn’t get to say. Whatever it is, there is one common thing about all regrets and that is this: they all lie in the past. I don’t think I’m a perfectionist or someone who is overly obsessed with growth. But for myself, when I see that I am not maturing fast enough in a particular area, it bothers me a lot. I’ve had my share of poor decisions and mistakes. I would find myself so defeated by regrets and it left me immensely discouraged. I am reminded of Paul here, the man who persecuted and killed Christians. I wonder if he was ever tempted to fall in immense regret and discouragement for having persecuted the very ones who believed in His Lord. I would think so. But when God finally got a hold of this man, he made a complete turnabout. In Philippians 3:13-14 He says “Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” I have learned that I must forget what lies behind and press on toward that which lies ahead. I once heard that a wise person learns from others’ mistakes, but a fool doesn’t learn even from his own mistakes. So, I decided, at least I can learn from my own mistakes. Those very important lessons I learned from any of my regrets and mistakes are the only things I should take with me as I press onward. If I am to be content, I must run the race looking at Jesus. I must make right any wrong I’ve done and avoid any situation which I may regret late on. And then, I must live in the present because the present is all we have. And I must trust that God has something better for me. I even must trust that all that has happened, even my mistakes, He has allowed, and has done so with the best interest in mind for me. Humanely speaking, it’s very difficult and even impossible to let go of some regrets, or to forgive ourselves for some decisions. But it’s great news that “With people, it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.”- Jesus. (Mark 10:27). Even if those things remain in my brain all my years, I do not have to be a slave to them. God can break the chains of any regret off me, and I can live free. Nothing is impossible with God.

I often wish that God would give me some blueprint of my days while on earth, that He would just tell me how everything plays out. But He never promises such a thing. God simply asks us to trust Him. He does promise that everything will work together for our good. No cap, all facts. That year was one of the hardest of my life, but it did many good things for me. It revealed to me my sin, stripped me of some of my pride, strengthened my character, fostered in me empathy for God’s people, and I was given a deeper love for God’s Word and prayer. Sometimes it takes a while for us to realize that we don’t know so much. Socrates said once that “the man that knows that he doesn’t know is a much wiser man than the man who doesn’t know that he doesn’t know.” There’s much that I do not know, but God is the One in control of my life and He chooses all things for me. I just ask Him often to prepare me for whatever He has for me in the future. And to help me be faithful with what I have at the present moment. To help me to live with a contented heart. Whatever Jesus commands us to do, He will also enable us to do it. But I must cooperate. But I know that “He who did not only spare His own son, will freely give me all things” Romans 8:32.  I trust God will give me what I need to be the daughter, sister, and friend He wants me to be. I hope every believer comes to know God as a Father. The Father’s love is something incredible. I was so touched by this verse: “the Lord appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore, with lovingkindness, I have drawn you.” Jeremiah 31:3. God has just been so incredibly good to me. For all the things He has done for me, I will be thankful to my Lord for all eternity. All glory to God alone.

Much love and grace,

Christelle Panumpabi